it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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