Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
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Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
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