Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
