wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
