I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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