I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
