there's paper in my vomit.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The dick lei will go down in squad history
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
