am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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