what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
