Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
