***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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