I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
