we have officially lost it.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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