best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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