I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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