What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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