Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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