i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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