I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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