kristin has been a bad kristin
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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