Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
