just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
