Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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