My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
