i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
is that a dick in a sweater?
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