Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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