so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
