I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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