I'm lost and stupid without you.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
