let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
