In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
