call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize