weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
