Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
