went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
