we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
