i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
