Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
