I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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