I don't think brook has ever known best
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
