Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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