after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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