Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
