Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
