that's an acceptable place to lick
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
