in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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