dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
