please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
