We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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