I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
