Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
