If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
