dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize