Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
