Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
