bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
