Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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