I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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